Wildfires inevitably result in parts of the park being closed off to visitors. In the Tetons, this was particularly tricky because there was a lot of wind shift so even though an area might be "open" you may not actually want to be there because, well, it just wouldn't be very pleasant. The woman at the hotel's check in desk suggested asking "Charlie," a guy at the "activities" counter for advice about what to do and where to go given the wildfire restraints. She indicated that he was very "colorful" and would be sure to have the best options.

She was not kidding. The following is the park map he marked up. Obviously, he must have been a football coach at some point. If you are confused about what is what, don't worry, that is completely normal. Those "W" marks you see are moose antlers. That doesn't mean that there are moose in those areas... just wildlife in general.

Charlie's Grand Teton Lowdown took about 20mins.

A major stop was to the Grand Tetons National Park. I was blessed with two days of perfect weather, which made shooting fun, regardless of the forest fire raging in front of the mountains. So when you think you see fog or clouds, you are actually seeing smoke:

Growing up, whenever there was an incredible amount of anticipation involved with something, such as opening presents, my parents were repeated asked when the exciting part was going to be at hand. They would indicate that there would be a "long time nothing" between now and the fun bit. Driving through the midwest, for the most part, feels like a "long time nothing."

Not to say it isn't pretty. It is. I totally get how they call the midwest the heartland. I enjoyed my drive through there. But in all honesty, there really isn't much diversity in the landscape for a very long while.

Things I learned while driving cross country... in no particular order of importance:

• Personal moving trucks may have a "speed governor," which limits its top speed to 75. Having now driven such a vehicle, I will now have a lot more patience when I see one on the road.
• The side view mirrors on trucks rule.
• New York is a BIIIIIG state. Seriously. It cost like $30 on the Thruway to get clear across it.
• No insect, no matter how big, can survive impact to a truck window.

• Cracker Barrel restaurants have evil puzzles on their tables.
• After a week of midwest "home cooking" you suddenly feel the need to own a ford 4X4.
• Omaha, Nebraska is a pretty stinky place. As in, it smells like manure. In downtown. I thought that the odor might have something to do with the rodeo going on, but residents tell me it is somewhat the norm. Yick.
• The midwest is totally obsessed with football. And the Fox News Channel.
• Eastern Wyoming is super windy. As in, Chicago has NOTHING on Cheyenne.
• The farming resources in this country are astounding. It took 4 days to drive through it.
• It is not possible to be at all "sneaky" when observing wildlife while driving a 12 foot, yellow Penske moving truck, no matter how hard you try.

Sorry for the recent silence. By now, you loyal readers realize that whenever I've gone quiet without notice, that usually means I've been busy finding you all sorts of exciting blog material. Yesterday I returned home from a cross country road trip. In a 12 foot Penske moving truck. From East to West.

I have over 300 photos to go through - don't worry, I won't post them all - but it will take me some time to get them blogged - I am currently living in total chaos. As incredibly tempting it is to spend time going through my adventure's documentation, I don't have very much floor space at the moment and I can't live like this... if only because I am notoriously clutzy and can see me stubbing every toe.

So I ask for a little patience... I promise it will be worth it.

So let's see about some things at the fair I was NOT expecting. Such as building upon building of informerical booths. No joke. It, quite honestly, is a little trippy. Almost like having QVC in 3D. For football fields.




There were kid talent shows:



And then there was the time when I ran into Darth Vadar. This encounter totally confused me. I never thought I would see Darth Vader and bullriding the same day.



Later, I saw Anakin Skywalker. On a mobile phone. While eating fries. With a storm trooper helmet. He told me that fighting storm troopers gets him hungry.



And now for some random shots that I just like:

And what would a county fair be without a rodeo. This was also a first for me. I had been to a bull riding event earlier this year, but apparently a rodeo is a lot more involved. Still, almost everything lasts about 8 seconds. If that long. It is a great event for people with short attention spans.

In a nutshell, I love rodeos. Just as with the logging show, the smell of testosterone was just overwhelming. Some of the events are just downright crazy. Like riding a bronco bareback while only holding on to the horse with one hand. This event should keep chiropractors in business. Warning, this video may make you cringe.



Personally, I preferred watching the SADDLED bronco riding... much more fluid and picturesque.



Steer roping was impressive - especially since cowboys are expected to do this in under 8 seconds. I just love how the horse knows to stop the second the steer has been roped.



Steers can also be roped by two cowboys at the same time. I have not yet understood why it is necessary to have two cowboys to do this, since it is possible (as demonstrated above) to do this with only one cowboy. Apparently steers are really hearty and can take all of this roping round the neck.



My favorite event by far though is barrel racing. Not only is it the most exciting to watch, but it is the only event in which girls participate. I don't have video because I preferred shooting.





And I guess to be fair, there is one event for kids. It is called mutton busting. Essentially bullriding on a sheep. Too funny.

Animals are another huge part of county fairs. Every livestock imaginable is on display and judged. It really surprised me just how close you could get to the animals. Made for some nice pictures.






There are barns and barns of livestock.. you just walk up and down the corridors checking out the cows, horses, sheep, etc. If you were wondering how they keep these barns clean for people to walk through... here's a clue:




The judging of the livestock is very similar to a dog show. Not only are the animals cleaned, primped and brushed, but they have a handler as well. This was officially the first time I had ever seen anybody apply hairspray to a cow...let alone to its REAR.




My favorite part of the animal exhibits was the poultry barn. I had absolutely NO idea that there were so many different kinds of chickens. And so many FUNNY LOOKING chickens. Seriously, I have no idea what the point is of having chickens that look like this.. they look like something out of the Muppet Show.





Doesn't this picture like two chicken tails? Nope... These are two chickens facing each other and having a cluck.

On Sunday, I attended my first ever county fair. That's right. I had never been to a county.. or state fair, for that matter. I had heard that the "mac daddy" of fairs was the one in September, and I have been waiting patiently since last fall to go to this one. It did NOT disappoint. I will be devoting several entries to this experience.

From watching lots of movies/tv... reading books, I had several expectations about what I was going to see and experience. The first was food. I expected fair food to be seriously fried. Within minutes of being there, I saw this:



Nice. Shall I get you closer up to the menu?



I didn't have redneck sushi or anything else on this menu - I just couldn't bring myself to do that to my arteries, but I did partake in the quintessential food of this fair in particular - scones and pie. Both are made right on site and the scones are almost too warm to eat when you get them. The ladies who make the scones reminded me of the armies of grandmas who make pyrohy in Ukrainian church basements.




I had heard that there is produce judging at county fairs. Like the biggest gourd contest:



But did you know that they have DRIED food contests as well??



I think my favorite was the farm produce displays. Essentially, farms create art with a set amount and variety of produce. It amazes me that these are on display for over 2 weeks... don't they go bad?