Anybody who knows me knows that I don't drink beer. I've never been able to get past the smell. Ironically though, I really have always wanted to like beer. This distaste has been very frustrating to me since college. And here, in the PNW, where everybody seems to drink large quantities of coffee (something I can't drink thanks to an allergy) and microbrews, I've been feeling particularly left out. So I've taken up my beerquest again, diligently trying to find one that I can swallow. And finish at least a half pint before it gets warm. This always proves to be a challenge - I'll take a sip, and convince myself that it isn't too bad and then a friend will dutifully remind me that tolerating a swig is not the same as a whole glass. Curses.

Over the past several weeks, I've been privy to many "beer tastings" during which I've learned:

Don't judge a beer by its color. Just because it looks like an iced tea, doesn't mean it will taste like one.

When the description of the beer says that it tastes like chocolate or caramel, the beermaster is LYING. I may not know beer, but I know chocolate, and there is no way that a beer is ever gonna taste like chocolate.

"IPA" is not a brand name, but a type of beer, like a stout or bitter. This came as quite a surprise to me. The fact that I found IPAs disgusting, however, did not come as a shock.

Not deterred, I continue to keep tasting beer. People have suggested those fruit beers from Belgium... I'm sorry, but that just doesn't cut it. If I'm gonna resort to that, I might as well stick to cider.